The Cost of Misalignment

Misalignment isn't immediately obvious. It creeps in through the small compromises, saying yes when your gut says no, staying silent when you should speak up, convincing yourself that “it’s just a job” when, deep down, you know it’s slowly killing you. I'd spent so long in places that didn’t align with my core values, that I normalised the pain. At the time I didn’t realise how serious it was, but I was paying a price—a steep one—for living out of alignment. If you’ve ever felt that deep sense that something isn’t right in your life, the chances are, you’ve been living in misalignment.

Living Out Of Alignment

At first, it feels manageable. You push away the choices you've made, tell yourself you’re being too idealistic. I did all of that too, but over time, the small misalignments add up, and start to manifest in ways that are impossible to ignore.

For years I worked in environments that didn’t align with my values, and surrounded myself with people whose definition of 'success' felt hollow. On paper I was well-respected, and from the outside it looked like I was thriving. But deep down, I was disconnected, exhausted and knew I was totally out of alignment with who I truly was.

What Does Misalignment Look Like?

• Emotionally you feel drained. You feel anxious, frustrated, and even resentment towards your job, your colleagues, your friends and family, and even yourself, for staying in a situation that you know isn't right for you.

  
  

• Mentally you struggle to stay motivated. Work that once excited you, will probably feel empty. You may catch yourself dreading Mondays, counting down to the weekend, or fantasising about resigning.

  
  

• Physically misalignment takes a massive toll. Research has shown that chronic stress—especially the kind that comes from suppressing emotions—leads to headaches, digestive issues, fatigue, and even more serious health problems like high blood pressure and heart disease.

  
  

• Spiritually you feel disconnected. You may not use a word such as 'soul' or 'spirit', but you know there's a light inside, that is being extinguished. You lose touch with the essence of who you are, and living in a way that is misaligned with who you are at your core, whatever you call that part of yourself, it slowly dies.

The Hidden Cost of Misalignment

Brené Brown once said, “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we’re defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable.”

So many of us—especially high-achievers—fall into this trap. We build identities based on external validation. We chase titles, approval, and success as it’s been defined for us by society, our families, or the media. And in doing so, we lose connection with ourselves.

Oprah Winfrey emphasises the importance of listening to the whispers of your life before they turn into a scream. She shared an experience where she was about to sign up for a job that she knew wasn’t right for her. Backing out at the last minute, she said, “I knew that if I took that job, something in me would die.”

Not all of us are global icons, but the principle is the same. When we make choices that betray our deepest values, something in us slowly starts to die.

Emotional Shadows

The Path Back To Alignment

Realignment isn’t easy. It often requires courage, making difficult decisions, and people will often question your actions and sometimes even your sanity! When I first started out on a spiritual path, through the process of deep self-reflection, and honest self-enquiry, I realised I was out of alignment in many areas of life.

It meant making some drastic changes, to realign my life with my core values, and authentic self. I lost friendships, and even a couple of jobs along the way. But I knew the cost of misalignment, was far greater than any price I was paying, to realign my life.

In my personal experience, and in my years working with clients, what I know to be true is this: we do know when we are out of alignment. However, another truth, is that we often stay misaligned, because we know realigning is going to be painful.

You have the power to step back into alignment any time you choose. Can I promise you that it won't hurt? No. Can I promise you it will be easy? No. Can I promise you it will be worth it? Absolutely!

When you live in alignment, everything changes. Life feels lighter, because you’re no longer carrying the weight of living a life that isn’t truly yours. So if you’re feeling that quiet whisper that something isn’t right—listen to it. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to betray yourself, for the sake of what’s gone before.

Letting Go

Sometimes, the hardest part of realignment, is letting go of who we thought we were supposed to be. Realignment will likely require you to make some changes. But you don’t have to quit your job tomorrow. You don't have to finish that relationship today. You have the power to realign your life at any time you choose.

You can start by seeking out people who are living authentically—who have made courageous choices, and come out the other side stronger. Their energy and perspective will help reinforce your own. And once you step into alignment, you’ll never settle for anything less again.

Trust yourself and trust your inner wisdom, you do know.